


One Day

by TrickyVicky3



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 16:38:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6527863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrickyVicky3/pseuds/TrickyVicky3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Simon’s betrayed us”</p>
<p>The words are still ringing in his head hours later, and the tone, disappointed and hurt, keeps him awake in the early hours of the morning. He did betray them. For Clary. She was his friend first, they’ve been there for each other their whole lives and Simon wasn’t going to abandon her when she needed him most.</p>
<p>He just wished it didn’t have to hurt Raphael as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Day

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry.
> 
> I still have two prompts to fill & i promised people i'd write a happy fic.
> 
> This is not that happy fic.

\--- Raphael ---

Simon betrayed him.

No.

Simon betrayed THEM, the Clan.

And it hurt.

He’s not sure he could have killed Simon, and a part of him, a very small, tiny, insignificant, barely there, part of him, is grateful to that Goddamn Lightwood girl for showing up when she did. For taking him away so Raphael didn’t have to look at him anymore.

He watched Simon leave, eyes tracking his every inch as he hurried out the room, not looking back once. And he tells himself that it’s better this way, Simon’s friendship with the Shadowhunter girl was more trouble that it was worth. Everything will be easier now that traitor is gone.

It’s not.

Simon’s betrayal has affected the entire clan, everyone’s a little off, acting up, Camille is free but she doesn’t show up just yet. Raphael can feel her gaze on him sometimes, can tell she’s watching him from the shadows. She’s nothing to him. Nothing. 

Just a bad memory that leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

\--- Simon ---

“Simon’s betrayed us”

The words are still ringing in his head hours later, and the tone, disappointed and hurt, keeps him awake in the early hours of the morning. He did betray them. For Clary. She was his friend first, they’ve been there for each other their whole lives and Simon wasn’t going to abandon her when she needed him most.

He just wished it didn’t have to hurt Raphael as well.

He genuinely hates Camille now. As if attacking him and killing him wasn’t bad enough, rescuing her (admittedly his own stupid decision) has gone and fucked up the only good thing to come out of this whole nasty business. His relationship with Raphael.

The temporary room at the Institute feels nowhere as warm as his room at the Hotel, and the bed is lumpy and uncomfortable. When he lies on his bed at the Hotel he gets a clear view of the desk, where Raphael would often sit when he came to check up on Simon, and he’d check up on Simon a lot.

Lying in this bed all he can see is darkness, and everything is so loud and human. Whenever he’d get overwhelmed at the Hotel, Raphael would always be there for him, helping him through a panic attack or soothing him from a nightmare. But Raphael’s not here now. And that’s on Simon.

He pushes his palms into his eye sockets, attempting to ward off the tears threatening to spill. 

“I’m disappointed in you”

When Raphael had said that, all Simon wanted to do was turn around and throw Camille back in that coffin, hell he’d probably have done anything in that moment to rectify his mistake. But it was too late. 

Simon had taken their relationship for granted, he knew Raphael trusted him and he still managed to fuck that up. He didn’t think he’d react like that, he thought, at most, Raphael would scold him then forget about it. Like he did with the blackmail, hell when Simon blackmailed him he almost seemed impressed. 

Obviously going behind his leaders back (his friend’s back) and releasing a violent, unpredictable, non-con-y Vampire didn’t warrant the same reaction. He stifles a sob, hugging his arms around himself on the cold, lumpy bed as another memory hits him. Raphael was going to kill him.  
Raphael actually wanted him dead.

And oh that hurts, the people Raphael had with him, Cain, Jacob, all of them, they were all so ready to rip him apart. Because Raphael told them to. And they actually listen to him because he’s their leader and he cares about them. And they care about him. That should have been Simon.

It should still be Simon.

He squirms onto his side, arms tightening slightly, crying freely now. 

\--- Raphael ---

Raphael doesn’t mope. Whatever bullshit lies Lily spins to the clan, to their allies, he’s not moping. He’s just being wary. Camille’s on the loose and she probably wants to kill him so it’s best he keeps to himself. Alone. In Simon’s room. 

All his stuff is still here, his awful jackets are hanging in the (his) wardrobe and his laptop and books are still spread haphazardly on the desk. Hell, even the bed is rumpled, sheets pulled back. Because of course Simon doesn’t make his bed, that’s just too much to ask. 

The room seems so empty when Simon’s not here. So quiet without his constant babble, Raphael’s tempted to destroy it. Burn his clothes, break his things, trash the place. But he can’t bring himself to do it, the room even smells like Simon (like teenage angst, hormones and aftershave) but it’s nice. It’s familiar. And it just makes everything hurt even more.

\--- Simon ---

He shouldn’t be here.

He shouldn’t be stood outside the Hotel this late at night, he’s sure the clan will sense him, attack him, kill him like Raphael ordered them to. Damn he’s getting sad again. His stuff is still at the Hotel, and he doesn’t know the etiquette. 

How do you collect your things from a place you were starting to call home, after betraying the trust of everyone who lives there? He swallows nervously, eyes flickering up to where he estimates Raphael’s room is. He wonders, if he enters, how much time would he have to try and explain everything to Raphael before he gets his throat ripped out?

He’s not sure he could even look at Raphael, after what happened, after Simon left him. And actually talking to him is a whole other kettle of fish. If thinking about him gets Simon this worked up then facing him might just finish him off.

It’s when he turns to leave that he finally notices the figure standing in the shadows.

\--- Raphael ---

He felt Simon’s presence the moment the boy appeared outside, and he’s been stood in the shadows to the side of the hotel watching him, waiting. Wondering why in God’s name the stupid kid would come back. He knows he’s not wanted here. He sighs when Simon eventually turns, but freezes when they make eye-contact.

He’s not sure he’s ready for this conversation.

Tough luck. Simon looks nervous but oddly serious as he strides towards Raphael, hands playing with his sleeves, an obvious nervous tick. When he gets close enough Raphael steps out of the shadows a little, hissing, a warning. Back off Simon or you’ll regret it.

Simon stutters, not exactly scared of Raphael, but unsure too, there was a time not so long ago, when Simon would have reached out to touch Raphael without hesitation. When he would get right up in Raphael’s personal space, and not just while sparring.

Their whole relationship was made of light touches and soft looks, once Simon was comfortable he was always touching Raphael, grabbing him by the arm when he needed a word, elbowing him in the side when he was being rude, squeezing his hand when he needed reassurance. 

Simon shrinks in on himself as the silence stretches between them, he opens his mouth, then shuts it again, eyes looking everywhere except at Raphael. 

Raphael tries his best to smirk, to look uninterested, like he couldn’t give a shit if Simon walked away now. “You shouldn’t be here, fledgling” he hisses, fangs bared, eyes distant, closed off.

Simon seems to deflate even more, running a hand through tangled hair as he finally looks Raphael in the eyes, shining tears unshed reflected in his. “I..” he stutters, face twisting as he works out what to say, “Raphael I-“ he groans in frustration, kicking at a pebble near his foot. 

Raphael raises an eyebrow, not allowing himself to feel sorry for the traitor. 

“You made your choice” his voice comes out dull and uninterested but inside he’s fuming, how dare Simon just show up after everything and act like it never happened. Simon shudders, shivering against the cold night as he reaches out “Raphael I just want to explain-“

Raphael hisses again, shoving Simon against the wall of the Hotel and rising up so they’re face to face “How dare you” he spits, anger now blazing wildly in his eyes “How dare you” he repeats, nose scrunched up in disgust, heart breaking.

\--- Simon ---

He scrapes his back painfully when Raphael pushes him against the wall, but his hands are on the lapels of Simon’s jacket, and he’s touching Simon for the first time in days and Simon wants more, so much more.

“You gonna hit me?” the words drop, unexpectedly from his lips “Hit me Raphael, please, I deserve it” Raphael pushes his hands against Simon harder, now balled up into fists, Simon can feel bruises forming under the pressured touch. 

“Don’t tempt me, I should kill you right now for what you did to us” Raphael pauses, face close and angry “What you did to me” and Simon sobs, tears threatening to spill again “I’m sorry” he shouts, hands coming up, trying to placate Raphael by clutching at his shoulders. It doesn’t work. Instead Raphael just bears his fangs at him again.

“Don’t touch me” he spits out “You don’t have that right anymore” and Simon’s heart breaks, “I just did what was right Raphael” he throws his head forwards, trying to get into Raphael’s space. It doesn’t work and he’s pushed back against the wall with more force, his hands still gripping Raphael’s shoulders.

“We woke Jocelyn up, we couldn’t have done that without freeing Camille” Raphael, if possible, gets even more angry at the mention of her name.

“Dios you don’t understand” he wedges a leg between Simon’s spread ones “What you’ve done to my people (and, ouch, that used to be “our” people) is unforgivable Simon, you’ve ruined anything that might have been” he laughs humourlessly into Simon’s face “You’ve ruined everything”

Tears freely flow down Simon’s face and his hands clutch tighter onto Raphael’s shoulders “I’m sorry” he sobs again, eyes downcast in shame. Silence descends upon them, broken occasionally by a muffled sob, Raphael looks pained, like he’d rather be anywhere but there right now.

\--- Raphael ---

Simon pauses, eyes flickering over Raphael’s face before he suddenly tries to scrabble closer to Raphael “Can’t we- Can’t we just-“ He surges forward, trying to kiss Raphael and moves his body against him, grinding down roughly. Raphael hisses, flinging himself back, away from Simon, eyes angry.

He runs a hand through his hair, snarling when Simon tries to approach again. “You think that will fix anything?” He tries not to let the hurt seep into his voice but flinches when it does, “Dios Simon this-“ he gestures between them “- can never happen now”.

Simon swallows, struggling for unnecessary breaths. Arms outstretched to Raphael “Please” he steps towards Raphael again, whining wantonly “Please Raphael”.

Raphael shakes his head, fangs bared, eyes hurt and mistrustful. 

“You should leave” He doesn’t make eye-contact with Simon, instead choosing to look off into the distance, attempting to hide his pain from the fledgling. 

Simon nods, hugging his arms to himself.

“Will you ever forgive me?”

Raphael sighs, shoving his hands in his pockets, finally looking up at Simon, blown away at the hope, the pain, the love, shining in the younger boy’s eyes.

He nods hesitantly, “One day Simon”

“One day”.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is beautiful & so are you <3


End file.
